In the last post I talked about the problems I have created for myself, by mistakes I have made in the past. I am sure this is a common occurrence with all of us but some or our mistakes create consequences that smack us up the side of the head. Mine have done this to me this past couple months.

I did go on my cruise and for the most part had fun. My crippled knees kept me in pain most of the week but I am used to having this happen.

I came home to a stack of mail to go through. In this mail was a letter from my landlord telling me he put the house up for sale and I had to move. He gave me 90 days to move out but I am not one to be patient and figure things out, so I immediately freaked out, got angry and any other emotion that I could think of. I thought I would be in this house for a few more years and was not ready to give it up. I started looking for a place to rent immediately and thankfully found one.  It happens to be owned by very good friends who are also my bible study, small group leaders.

This doesn't seem like such a big issue now but it sent me on a downward spiral of depression, anger and frustration. Most of this was directed at myself, with a little anger thrown towards my landlords. I was in major self pity mode and couldn't seem to get out of it. I also was kicking myself, every chance I got, for all my past mistakes and failures that led me to having to rent, instead of own. It was not a pretty month to be around me. My family and friends calmly listened to me and helped me through this. I am not sure why they are all still around but I guess they all do love me. I am thankful for there encouragement, prayers and support. Moving was hard because my body has so many physical problems and I am still suffering from that.

But, I have come through the other side and now I see how completely insane I was to worry and fret so much. I do know that my God is in control of my future. I know he wants what is best for me and the girls, but I stepped outside of this comfort zone to try and take it all on my shoulders, and fix it. In spite of this, he did stay in control and helped me find the right place to move and all the wonderful people to help me. My body is starting to relax and feel better, the girls are happy, and I am not kicking myself quite so hard anymore.

The lesson to be learned is as always...let go and let God!!!!